I recently went to an event with one of my children where everyone was learning to play the ukulele. There was music, laughter, and fun. At the end of forty-five minutes, everyone could at least play one simple song, with no prior experience. I felt accomplished. It was so simple!
At first, a relationship is a lot like learning a new instrument. It is fresh, shiny, and captivating. You look forward to the emotions that are sure to move you as you learn the workings of it. In no time you are holding the instrument closely and enjoying your first sounds.
But then, as you get to know your new instrument better, after the first few lessons, you begin to see much discipline will be required in producing the music you know the instrument is capable of making. Many start this journey of practice, but not all carry it out to the end.
During practice, there is much dissonance as melodies are worked out and volume, pitch and pace determined. Do you play loud and fast, or slow and deliberately? You may think you have mastered a rough phrase only to be faced with the same challenge a few lines later. The temptation to quit is strong. You begin to doubt if you made a horrible mistake in picking up this instrument in the first place. “Perhaps,” you wonder, “I chose the wrong one.”
However, for those who persist past the pain and the doubt, the richness of the well-rehearsed piece is better than any simple song first learned in haste. You know the intricacies of the score, you enjoy the parts that are easy to play and reflect your innermost desires, and yet you can still navigate the trills, tough fingering and difficult reaches with grace. Practice has smoothed the rough edges.
Like a musician playing an instrument, marriage gets better with persistent practice. And, most musicians along the way seek out an instructor. If your marriage needs tuning, please give us a call. We have had much success in helping couples get past the first movement and transition into a well-played marriage.