Are You Feeling Unloved or Disrespected by Your Spouse?
Have you and your spouse been drifting apart, and now you feel more like roommates than lovers? Perhaps the ease and pleasure you once enjoyed has been replaced by long periods of silence, repetitive fights or conversations that deflect your issues and primarily focus on work or the kids. You may feel disconnected and lonely, even when you are sitting together in the same room. Do you feel like you’ve done everything in your power to repair your marriage, but your efforts are consistently ignored or rejected by your spouse? Do you wish you could just reconnect with the person you fell in love with, feel heard and accepted, and trust in your ability to get through this as a team?
Experiencing consistent turbulence or strain in your marriage can be a lonely, frustrating and confusing experience. The stress of juggling the responsibilities of family, career and daily life often leaves people feeling overwhelmed, and when you add the pain of feeling underappreciated by the person who’s supposed to love and support you, it can be too much to bear. If you and your spouse have fallen out of synch and into a routine of chronic criticism or minimal interactions, you may be close to giving up, questioning if fixing your marriage is even possible.
All Marriages Occasionally Experience Challenges
If you and your spouse are struggling, you are not alone. With our fast-paced lives, financial stressors and the isolation of technology and social media use, it’s easy for couples to drift apart. As you may know, one in two marriages in the US end in divorce. If you come from a Christian background, you may have heard things like God hates divorce in church. But few churches teach us how to make a marriage work. The good news is that help is available. With support, neutral feedback and a safe space for communication and growth, you and your spouse can heal and rediscover harmony.
Marriage Counseling Can Help You and Your Spouse Repair and Strengthen Your Loving Bond
When both partners are committed to the therapeutic process and willing to acknowledge their shortcomings in the marriage dynamic, there’s a lot of hope for making things better. In sessions, we’ll work on ways in which you two can support each other in new, healthier ways. If you and your spouse constantly fight, you’ll learn what kind of things trigger arguments and anger so that you can better recognize the warning signs and deescalate or even avoid those outbursts moving forward. You will learn specific communication strategies that are tailor-made to help you and your spouse express your needs authentically and with care. Over time, you can feel more comfortable being vulnerable in your partner’s presence and more fully accepted for who you are.
Our practice is carefully designed to promote a calm atmosphere for you and your spouse to experience something unique while you both explore your innermost concerns and desires. With the guidance of an experienced and knowledgeable marriage counselor, you and your spouse can work toward achieving the love and gratitude you always imagined you’d have after saying, “I do.”
Gabriel and I are married and have children, and we often apply our therapy tools to our own marriage. We are both licensed marriage and family therapists with masters’ degrees in psychology from Richmont Graduate University here in Georgia. We draw on our decade of experience as counselors, along with our additional theological training and faith, to meet our clients wherever they are and address their needs in a safe, non-judgmental and empathic environment.
Although Gabriel and I have education in Christian theology, we invite couples of all faiths and backgrounds to try couples therapy. If Christianity is not a strong influence in your life, it’s not something we’ll ever bring up in session. However, if Christianity is a big part of your life, our practice is unique in that we’re able to combine modern psychological practices with a foundation of values set before us by Christ. Marriage counseling is about healing, making amends and learning how to approach your spouse with love, forgiveness and grace.
Gabriel and I have been able to help a lot of couples overcome their issues. Remember that your conflicts are not the real problem here. How you come together and resolve your battles as a team is the real issue. When you got married, you signed up for a life of love and intimacy, and couples counseling can help you both discover that connection and care you long for.
Although you may see the benefit of Christian marriage counseling, you may still have some questions or concerns about the process…
What if my partner doesn’t want to come?
That’s a common concern, and there are different ways to address that obstacle. Marriage counseling, especially if you and your spouse are considering divorce or separation, is definitely worth a shot. First, I recommend that you make an appointment, invite your spouse and tell them how important it is to you. If he or she still denies your request, individual counseling may be a good option. It’s common for the reluctant partner to join you in therapy after he or she has seen your positive reactions from the first session or two.
We definitely encourage that both partners be present in couples therapy because this is a change that you two need to experience together. If you’re really struggling to get your spouse to join you, I’m happy to speak with him or her on the phone and do everything I can to address any fears about couples counseling.
Our marriage seems so hopeless that I doubt anything will help.
According to marriage researcher John Gottman, couples wait about six years before they seek out help. That means most couples ignore their issues until the resentment, hurt and loneliness become absolutely unbearable and unavoidable. But all hope is not lost, and you and your spouse do not need to suffer needlessly. We have safe ways of helping you address and deal with your conflicts. When you push something under the rug, that doesn’t mean it goes away. Together, we can carefully pull things out from under the rug and reshape them into something manageable. With a little help and guidance, you and your spouse can resolve your issues and reestablish love and respect.
I haven’t done anything wrong. My partner is the one in the wrong.
It’s common for couples to seek out counseling after there has been a major breach of trust, such as the discovery of an affair or an addiction. Although these behaviors cause pain and havoc in your marriage, assigning shame or blame is not the goal of couples counseling. Therapy is not about taking sides. It’s for the overall good of the relationship. If you and your spouse have experienced trauma in your marriage, we will explore both sides.
Often times, especially in the Christian community, people want to understand things as black and white or right and wrong. But that’s not the world we live in. We all live in a place where bad and confusing things happen all the time. Christian couples counseling is about acceptance and allowing you and your spouse to feel safe to be who you are. In our practice, we try to foster a safe and welcoming space for all.
Start The Healing Process Today With Marriage Counseling
If you have any further questions about couples counseling or want to schedule an appointment, please call 678-381-3493.